When it comes to our identity, we often get stuck in a trap of thinking that who we are is based on the things that change about us. When we do this, we limit ourselves and our potential for true happiness. In this article, I'll show you how to identify yourself as something greater than your mind, body, past mistakes, and traumas—something much more than what other people say about you or even what you think when you look in the mirror at yourself!
You are not your mind.
Your mind is not who you are. It is a tool, a supercomputer that can be used for thinking as well as for creating. Your mind can think about what happened in the past, imagine what could happen in the future, and create things out of thin air. It is your most important asset when it comes to becoming an expert in something.
Your identity doesn't reside in your thoughts either – they only reflect what's happening around us in our lives or how we feel at any given time (and often both). So if someone says: "You're a terrible person," this statement will impact your life because it's true. But if someone says: "You're going to fail at school tomorrow," this statement won't affect you as much since there's no way of knowing whether or not it will come true!
You are not the body.
You are not the body. You may think you are a body, but you're a consciousness experiencing itself as a body. Your body came from emptiness, and it will return to emptiness when it dies.
You can see this for yourself by watching your thoughts. When you look at your mind, what do you see? You see thoughts arising and passing away all the time; nothing substantial or permanent seems to be there! But if we insist on seeing ourselves as bodies instead of as consciousnesses, then we have no choice but to believe that we are real bodies with real minds inside them—and then where does that leave us? If our bodies are real and our minds are also real (since they're inside our bodies), then isn't this saying that we're just beings made up of two different things: matter plus mind? And if so... doesn't this mean that these two things exist separately?
You are not the story you have been told about yourself.
The story is not the truth. You are not your story. The stories we tell ourselves and others are often fiction, fantasy, or even lies. The story you have been telling yourself is probably not true either—it's just a version of events that you have constructed to make sense of what happened in the past or to predict what will happen in the future. It may be a useful story: it may help you understand yourself better; it might even be true for other people but not for you at all. If it helps you get through life, then there's no problem with it as long as it doesn't stop you from being who you are (and if someone else has another version of events, that's fine too).
You are not your past, your trauma, or your mistakes.
What you are is not your past, trauma, or mistakes.
Though it can be difficult to remember this when we're in the middle of pain or crisis that feels like it's imprisoning us and holding us back from living our lives fully, it's true: you are not your story. You're not your life. You're not even your body. Your mind may be running wild with thoughts about how awful everything is right now—but there's more to who you truly are than just any of those things!
It sounds strange at first, but it makes sense if we think about it: there isn't any one thing that defines us as human beings; we're all made up of many different parts working together seamlessly throughout our bodies and minds at once (and even outside them). Just as each cell within our bodies has its own unique DNA code that allows for individual expression within itself—as well as interaction with each other cell through communication processes called "cellular signaling"—we too have multiple ways in which we express ourselves through thoughts/feelings/sensations/perception... etc., depending on what kind of person we want to become over time (and what kind of people they want their cells' behaviors to reflect).
You are not the things you own or the things you do.
You are not the things you own or the things you do.
"The stuff we own doesn't define us," said New York City real estate broker Tom Wishon, who specializes in luxury properties. "We are stewards of what we have been given." Wishon has been selling art and antiques for over 20 years. He's seen all kinds of people come through his shop: artists who need a place to display their work so they can pay their rent, business owners looking for something special to make their office unique, retirees trying to get rid of their grandmother's antiques because they can't fit them into their small apartment. "There isn't any one type," he says. "Everyone comes in with different goals and motivations."
Wishon says his job isn't just about finding clients; it's also about helping them find themselves by helping them make decisions about what defines them as people—what kind of lifestyle best suits them? Are they more practical than artistic? More traditional than modern? Do they want to live somewhere spacious but minimalist (like this Manhattan pad)? Or should they be bolder with color and pattern (this Brooklyn loft)? The way we decorate our homes is an expression of how we want others—and ourselves—to perceive us; it reflects our values and personalities more than anything else does because it shows how much thought we've put into making those choices visible through design choices that reflect our lifestyles and interests at any given time in our lives
You are not your emotions and thoughts.
It's important to understand that emotions are not the same as thoughts. When we experience an emotion, it's often because a thought or series of thoughts have influenced our brain. These thoughts can be conscious or unconscious, positive or negative, true or false. In other words, our emotions aren't necessarily valid indicators of what is happening in reality—they're merely a byproduct of our internal dialogue.
I'll illustrate this with a personal story. When I was younger and just beginning to learn about mindfulness meditation (a practice I've now been doing for over ten years), I often felt anxious without any clear reason. It wasn't until I began meditating regularly that I realized how my judgmental inner dialogue had become a source of much of my anxiety and stress. Realizing this allowed me to talk back to these negative thoughts and question their validity instead of letting them influence my behavior in harmful ways—and you can do the same thing!
You are not a fixed quantity of anything. And you are none of these things because they all change, unlike you and Who-You-Really-Are—and so, therefore, they cannot be what you truly are.
You are not a fixed quantity of anything. And you are none of these things because they all change, unlike you and Who-You-Really-Are—and so, therefore, they cannot be what you truly are.
If that sounds strange to you, it's probably because most people believe that their mind is their identity—and given the evidence of our senses (which includes our brains), this seems like an easy mistake for us to make. But think about it: if who you were was only what your thoughts and emotions were telling you about yourself in this very moment? How would those thoughts change tomorrow? In a month from now? What if the main emotion driving those thoughts was fear or anger or hatred or jealousy... can we honestly say that these states last forever?
We often choose to identify ourselves by these changing aspects. Still, when we do that, we have limited our true Self to a tiny portion of what it is capable of being in this lifetime and into eternity.
We often choose to identify ourselves by these changing aspects. Still, when we do that, we have limited our true Self to a tiny portion of what it is capable of being in this lifetime and into eternity.
In other words, you are more than your body. You are more than your personality. You are more than what you look like on the outside or how you behave at work or play. These things may be important to you right now because they're useful for navigating life as it is—but in reality, none of them can contain your true Self, which exists beyond time and space and continues after death (if there even is such a thing).
Conclusion
Remember, who you are is not dependent on your body, mind, thoughts, emotions, or anything else. You are pure energy and consciousness. This is our origin. It's time to return to go back to origin.
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