Power Introvert. That was how I called myself when I was 3rd grade. It has always been difficult for me to approach anyone, and there were only a few people I liked in the class. I had one or two best friends. That was the number of friends around me. If they happened to be absent at school, I was alone. Feeling lonely, I wished that I could have more people around me.
Growing up, at school or at work, there was always some kind of fear involved in making new friends. I was envious of those who are social, those who do not have a problem talking to anybody. I wanted to change myself. I did not want to be aloner for the rest of my life.
While practicing this meditation, I delved into deep self-reflection and realized that not being able to approach others comes from judgments and pre-conceptions about people. There were people who looked angry, people who looked sad, and people who were so different that I thought I wouldn’t be able to be friends with them. There were tons of reasons why I couldn’t talk to people.
During a lecture at the meditation center, my meditation guide told me that people are mirrors of myself. If I have a certain mindset, I tend to see others in that way — for example, I see a person as angry because I have anger in my mind. I couldn’t believe it at first because I thought I would be the last person in the world to get angry at somebody. I swear, in my life, I have never been the type to get angry at others. After I cleaned up those thoughts with the meditation, I realized that people who used to irritate me no longer bothered me. In fact, they did not bother me; I was bothered by their presence.
Through this meditation, the way I see people changed so much. I felt more open-minded to people around me in general. I also realized that everyone has their own beauty, much like how flowers look different but each of them is beautiful in their own way. When I realized that, I began to see others in more positive way. I became more comfortable and happier around people. I can be an introvert, but I love everyone. Now I can be friends with anybody.
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